Terms of Service
Effective Date: June 20, 2026 | Last Updated: September 16, 2026
Strict Medical Disclaimer
Oye Hoye provides mathematical modeling and statistical forecasting based on actuarial tables and published medical surveys. We do not provide clinical diagnostics, medical therapy, or physician consultation. Do not alter medication or health regimens based on Oye Hoye scores without professional advice.
1. Acceptance of Terms
By accessing, browsing, or running calculations on Oye Hoye, you agree to comply with and be bound by these Terms of Service. If you do not consent to these provisions, please terminate your session and refrain from utilizing our online calculators.
2. Scope of Services
Oye Hoye operates two categories of longevity calculators:
- Health Calculators: Focuses on physiological biometrics (e.g. Body Fat, Healthy Weight, Heart Age, Sleep Debt) to estimate biological longevity. These are rule-based heuristic models informed by published research — not official medical or actuarial lookups. See our Methodology page for the exact formula.
- Fun & Memetic Calculators: Intended entirely for entertainment and satirical purposes (e.g. Zombie Survival, Superhero Lifespan, Mars colonization survival). These calculations are gamified and do not represent genuine health projections.
3. User Accounts
Registration is optional. A User Dashboard exists for a future saved-history feature, which is not yet active — calculations are not currently persisted to your account. By creating an account, you agree to:
- Provide accurate variables to ensure the integrity of your health profile.
- Maintain the secrecy of your login credentials managed through Clerk authentication.
- Instantly notify us if you identify unauthorized access or visual manipulation of your profile files.
4. OYEHOYE ASK Conduct
OYEHOYE ASK is intended for adults aged 18 and older. Responses are anonymous to the recipient, not exempt from safety enforcement. You must not use ASK for threats, harassment, hate, sexual exploitation, impersonation, scams, spam, self-harm encouragement, doxxing, or other unlawful or abusive conduct.
We may reject, quarantine, report, retain, or remove content and technical abuse-prevention records when reasonably necessary to protect users or comply with law. Link owners can pause their link, hide words, report content, block a privacy-preserving sender fingerprint, archive, or delete responses. No feature promises to reveal a sender's identity.
5. Limitations of Liability
Oye Hoye shall not be held liable for any decisions, health modifications, or dietary adjustments made by users based on computed values.
We provide the application on an "as is" and "as available" basis, without warranties of any kind, whether express or implied. Longevity projections are statistical averages and do not guarantee individual lifespan outcomes.
6. Intellectual Property
All proprietary algorithms, design palettes, branding markers, logo typography (`Oye Hoye`), mascot graphics, custom SVGs, and visual layout parameters are the sole property of Oye Hoye and protected by copyright and trademark laws. You may not copy, extract, or mirror our calculator logic without licensing approval.